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Monday, June 16, 2014

SWINGING...Behind The Scenes...What They Don't Tell You.

People may choose a swinging lifestyle for a variety of reasons. Many cite the increased quality, quantity and frequency of sex. Some people may engage in swinging to add variety into their otherwise conventional sex lives or due to their curiosity. Some couples see swinging as a healthy outlet and means to strengthen their relationship. Others regard such activities as merely a social and recreational interaction with others.

Swinging, also known as wife swapping or partner swapping is a non-monogamous behavior, in which partners in acommitted relationship engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational or social activity. Swinging can take place in a number of contexts, ranging from spontaneous sexual activity involving partner swapping at an informal gathering of friends to planned regular social meetings to "hooking up" with like-minded people at a swingers' club.
The phenomenon of swinging, or at least its wider discussion and practice, is regarded by some as arising from the freer attitudes to sexual activity after the sexual revolution of the 1960s, the invention and availability of the contraceptive pilland the emergence of treatments for many of the sexually transmitted diseases that were known at that time.
The swinger community sometimes refers to itself as "the lifestyle", or as "the alternative lifestyle". The term "wife swapping" or "partner swapping" is criticized for not accurately describing the full range of sexual activities in which both singles or couples may engage, which is not limited to conventional sex with a person other than their regular sex partner. Other terms sometimes encountered are wife sharing, partner sharing and wife lending, which describe similar concepts, usually in sociological oranthropological research.

According to 2005 estimates by the Kinsey Institute and others, swingers account for two to four percent of married couples with numbers in excess of 4 million people in North America. As of 2011, some experts believe that there are as many as 15 million Americans swinging on a regular basis.
Swinging sexual activity can take place in a sex club (also known as a swinger club, not to be confused with a strip club). Swinging is also known to take place in semi-public venues such as hotels, resorts, or cruise ships, or often in private homes. Different clubs offer varied facilities and atmospheres, and often hold "theme" nights. Furthermore, many websites that cater to swinging couples now exist, some boasting hundreds of thousands of members.

This is how the lifestyle of "swinging" looks on paper, but in actuality and behind the scenes is another story! I've been "swinging" for ten years now, and there's always a story to tell. But, what bothers me the most is, folks who live in denial or get on the defensive about something that is said. Are we adults? Shit, supposed to be, lol... I was invited to a swingers group on Facebook, I specifically said "as long as folks are mature, and no negativity" go ahead and add me. They had a party last night, spoke with a few folks this morning that said " there were more single men than females, and a few couples", a few of the single men were aggressive and some of the ladies felt "on display and uncomfortable". So, this group is an open forum, SUPPOSED TO BE AN OPEN FORUM... so I asked a few questions, that touched on what I was told. Of course, some will answer and some won't. Nothing wrong with asking the masses right? WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! Those who were administration, or friends with someone who was administration got on the defensive. To the point of, "You won't know until you go" or "You can't believe what folks tell you"

No, I can't but this is supposed to be an open forum right? Soooooooo, what's wrong with me asking a few questions, especially to some folks I do not know? They may or may not tell me something different, right? I asked if there was hand sanitizers, clean sheets, soaps, towels, and condoms available to those who attended, because sometimes attendees forget to bring these items or may not know. These questions were not answered, just disregarded, and instead, "You'll never know unless you go". What the fuck? Really? A lot of the responses came off very "immature" and one female, whom I found out was part of the administration, said my question "as to how it went last night" was "high schoolish". LMMFAO, no dear your response, "You can't believe what folks tell you" was "childish". I'm having a discussion... trying to have a discussion with folks who are supposed to be "like minded"mature adults. 

One cannot stimulate the minds of or have a grown up conversation with adults who act like children. 

So, I left the group, but before I did, I pointed out that it began to make sense on why some folks were on the defensive... hence the administration. Then one of my friends hit me up asking me if they kicked me out the group, lmao... I said, "No, I left". Then they tell me, "Oh cause someone on the administration team is positive u outta here!" LMMFAO! I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT.

I had already left! Some folks will go the extra mile to make themselves look good. 

Now, when someone asks you, "Do you like Burger King burgers better than McDonalds"? Or how about, "24hr Fitness or ClubOne"? Or another one, "Taco Bell or Del Taco"?
Do their representatives contact you or get on the defensive because of your decision or opinion? Do they ban you from eating their food? 

LMAO, NO! THEY DO NOT GIVE A FUCK! Why? Because it is not "good" business. They cannot afford to take it personal or get their emotions involved. 

There are more opportunities to improve their product if someone does not like it, or if they get a bad review. But, taking it personally and letting others see that... the word spreads, and what was already garbage, gets worse, then there will be no business or all that will attend is the "lowlifes" or "ratchetness" and a whole new set of problems begin.

Same thing happened to some folks I knew, and where are they now... begging for folks to attend their parties or rent their facility. Word got out that they were shady & shiesty, the male was  "bitch made" the female created drama, and a bunch of other shit! I could go on and on and on! 

What I also noticed and encountered is most of these folks are African American.  Not saying that all African Americans that host swinger parties have bad business practices, or take things personally, not at all and I know that this is untrue. I just have not come across any that handle their business correctly in "the lifestyle". 

Like I always say, "I could not make this shit up if I wanted too". This is just one story about the "swinger lifestyle".  There will be more, keeping it real, and keep on pushing!

SoSexyKima aka Kima Shines
 "True Swinger"

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